Secrets

I am super sensitive and will push others away at first because I get scared when people try to be close with me. I have horrible self-esteem and am always struggling to choose the path my parents paved for me and the path that I build on my own. I am also afraid of having nobody to rely on when I’m alone and I don’t want to be unable to take care of myself.

A Guide To Beans

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.

• Share fun times with me.

• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.

• Let me know that I am important and special to you.

• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.

• Reassure me often that you love me.

• Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

• being able to relate easily to people and to make friends

• knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better

• being generous, caring, and warm

• being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings

• being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What’s Hard About Being a TWO

• not being able to say no

• having low self-esteem

• feeling drained from overdoing for others

• not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish

• criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should

• being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tume in to them

• working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

• are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism

• try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding

• are outwardly compliant

• are popular or try to be popular with other children

• act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention

• are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

• are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren’t)

• are often playful with their children

• wonder: “Am I doing it right?” “Am I giving enough?” “Have I caused irreparable damage?”

• can become fiercely protective